My Road To Feminism

 

Back where I grew up, women were strong females, digging under the hot sun, milking the cows, carrying heavy loads to and from the market, fending for their kids and many other activities that were considered to be the woman’s duties. The men worked on the farms as well, and many of them had employments. One thing that the males could never do was wash their garments or cook.It would be unheard of to learn that Baba Tom was found in the kitchen stirring something in the sufuria. It would be a disgrace to manhood, an emasculation of the highest degree. So men tried to maintain their statures in all ways possible. Some could not hold their babies just to maintain their images of manhood.

I noticed the how women were so all rounded how they could take up any challenges and duties without considering their genders. A woman could provide as well as cook and tend for the family. Women could fix fences, carry heavy loads, duties that were associated with the males and receive no condemnation from the community, in fact, women would receive praises for carrying out duties that were considered masculine. 

I noticed to how condescending the men were to their wives. Men would order for water, for food, wanting everything to be done hurriedly and perfectly so that his needs and wants would be catered to promptly. The husband was actually the king, he had to be pleased lest he became angry. Angry husbands would beat up their wives, and this was just normal. I remember when I witnessed a man beating up his wife, all Jackie Chan on her. She was struggling to maintain her balance as blow after blow rained on her thin body. A man standing behind me said, "This guy doesn’t know how to beat a woman", 

It shocked me that the man felt it was right to beat a woman, and there was a right manner to do it. It saddened me because I was a girl, and I would grow into a woman, then I would be somebody's punchbag and slave. People liked to quote from the bible, how the woman was supposed to honor her husband and be hardworking as well, the same bible that said that the man should be the provider after the fall from Eden The community didnt seem to want to focus on the latter, making the woman more of a mat, a disadvantaged party.

One woman once told me that it would be an offence to ask your husband to cook for you. Even if you were mad tired from a safari and he was home all day, that all I should do in such a situation is to gather the little strength I have and do my duty. I think, if the African man can’t do womanly duties, the woman should never do masculine duties as well. All the women who are providing for their families would be transgressing.